My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked

[Danee]

From: http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/157696/my_8yearold_daughter_still_sees



You know that look you get when you say something you thought was pretty normal, only they think you're bonkers? I got one of those looks recently. I had mentioned being embarrassed when my daughter threw open the bathroom door when we had company because she's so used to it being open.


When it's just the family at home, most doors are open in my house. It doesn't matter who is behind them or who is naked. My daughter has seen me naked. She has seen my husband naked.


Hold on, before you freak out, let me explain!


I wouldn't call us nudists. For the most part, everyone in the house is wearing their clothes pretty much all the time. The most "undressed" we get on a regular basis is sitting in shorts and a tank top (for me) or just a pair of shorts (my husband) on a hot summer's day.


We don't get naked around our child on purpose.


But there are those moments when someone gets into the shower or out of the shower when you're completely naked and the child walks in, and you have to make a decision. Do I freak out? Do I grab wildly for the towel or t-shirt, making a big show of the fact that, OMG, I'm not wearing any clothes?


We don't.


We don't make a big deal out of being naked around our daughter. I don't and neither does my husband.


We don't want to draw attention to the fact that we're naked, but even more than that, we don't want it to seem scary or uncomfortable. We don't want her to think that bodies are "gross."


That's the message we send kids when we make a big deal out of being naked, isn't it? That there is something dirty about our bodies? Something secret?


I don't want my daughter to think bodies are dirty.


Secret? Well, we do make sure she's covered up in public, and we've had long, long talks about the right to say no and why private parts are "private."


But I grew up in a buttoned up household, where no one was ever naked. I also grew up with an eating disorder and to this day am extremely uncomfortable with my body. Even sitting in my own home, wearing clothes, I often move a blanket or a pillow onto my lap to add coverage, to help make myself disappear.


My husband and I don't want our daughter to feel that way, to feel that her body is something she needs to cover up even in the comfort of our own home.


This is why we've made nudity a non-issue.


We don't flaunt it. But we don't freak out over it either. If it happens, it happens, and we just go with the flow.






All over the Internet, there are sites where parents ask "when are kids too old to see their parents naked." The answers vary. Some parents never let it happen (seriously, the moms didn't even breastfeed). Some parents stop when a child can use anatomical language. Still others are still naked around their adult kids (THOSE I would call nudists).


I have read them all, and each time, I've come back to this: I'm raising a kid who is never afraid to tell me how she feels ... about anything. And she's never told me that it's wrong for her parents to be naked in her presence.






 

[Jen]

The fact that these articles are commonplace in mainstream press shows how far we've got to go.

[closetnudist]

I would like to consider this when I start having my own family. It's cool but I still have a long way to know more about naturism and how to properly pass this knowledge to my future children.

[Jackthenudist]

When I was little I used to see my mom topless or naked and it was perfectly normal.

I think that's probably why I'm comfortable with nudity now. I've never been taught that nudity is wrong or weird.

[Stephen]

Favourite songs from 00s:

[SurfNatural]

It sounded like the author still had body issues stemming from her eating disorder. I would bet that if she actually went to a family oriented nude resort it would do wonders for her own self image. That being said its good to hear she has a positive attitude with not only her being naked around her daughter but her husband also which is even more uncommon from what I have read. 

[softynude]

Even though they are not nudists but I do  approve their attitude ,I especially liked the sentence "We don't want her to think that bodies are "gross."" it summarize the whole concept of naturism ,And they could be more naturist than many pretenders.

[Fitz1980]

In many non-nudist families nudity between family members is seen as different than nudity between friends or even strangers. I knew one girl who told me went around naked at home in front of her Mom, Dad & brother. I figured she would be totally down for visiting a nudist resort with some friends. When I invited her she said "I'd be way too embarrassed to get naked in front of people."

[chrisw91]

I think that's a really nice story, especially coming from 'the textile world'. I used to see my mum in the bath and she didn't mind getting changed infront of me either, and it hasn't done me any harm. Maybe that is why I have never been particularly bothered about who sees me getting changed in public changing rooms etc.

[MichaelColeman]

I grew up in a "buttoned up" house-hold too.  Later, as an adult, I realized that nudity is completely natural.  I think that there should be no issue with family nudity.  If I ever have kids, my home is going to remain clothing optional.
 

[Lemonfresh]

When I was a young boy and even as a teenager I have seen my mom and dad or my brother naket in the bathroom or sauna. Doors were never locked. I think this is ho it should be... no matter if boy or girl, mom or dad... 

[steve]

I think I've stumbled across this thread at the perfect time. My wi and i are expecting our first child and would like that child to grow up comfortable with nudity at home, with a positive body image and with the option to choose their own stance on naturism as they mature.

i was lying awake in bed this morning wondering how that would work when so many of his/her friends and pretty much most of main stream society will not necessarily hold the same views. This article is useful for a) reminding me that there are plenty of open-minded textiles it there who wouldn't call themselves naturists; and b) that per-positioning nakedness at home, teaching kids context and acceptance, and then backing this up in both word and action will be critical.

Maybe I'm over thinking this but i found this article helpful and reassuring. Yes there's a long way to go but we've made progress and there's definitely further potential.

Thanks for sharing Danee

[nudetrail]

In many non-nudist families nudity between family members is seen as different than nudity between friends or even strangers. I knew one girl who told me went around naked at home in front of her Mom, Dad & brother. I figured she would be totally down for visiting a nudist resort with some friends. When I invited her she said "I'd be way too embarrassed to get naked in front of people."

that's strange.