Sixteen things I learned at the naked German spa

[andrewg]

Nice little article about German spa's.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/travel/activities-and-interests/sixteen-things-i-learned-at-the-naked-german-spa/article22176469/

Sometimes things don’t go as planned – and those moments often make for the best stories. Tripping columns offer readers a chance to share their wild adventures.

The countryside around Lake Constance in southern Germany is great for driving, and it was on one of several afternoon drives I took this past summer with a friend that we ended up at a popular spa in Oberstaufen. As if suddenly remembering I was Canadian, Renate asked, as a footnote, “It’s naked. You don’t mind that, do you?”

Sixteen things I learned at the naked German spa:

1. Germans really like being naked.

2. Sixty-year-old breasts can look quite fine.

3. You’re not meant to notice things like this.

4. Not everyone suffers from shrinkage.

5. You’re not meant to notice that either.

6. It’s polite to say hallo upon entering, and tschuss, upon exiting a sauna full of naked people, both while making eye contact.

7. You don’t talk above a whisper in the saunas and steam rooms. I don’t know why.

8. You can go in as a naked couple, but touching should be kept to a minimum. This, I understand.

9. Germans will get naked at the slightest opportunity. Their normalization of naked may be the root of an explanation for the well-known German propensity for the more extreme versions of both porn and sex. If your culture is this comfortable with nakedness, then your porn and sexual proclivities have to offer something more.

10. The average person will strip in the sauna, steam room and jacuzzi, but cover up while moving between them or lounging around, hewing to a sense of propriety understood only by themselves.

11. No matter when you choose to leave a sauna or steam room, it will be within 15 seconds of the hottest person on the grounds deciding to drop his towel and come in.

12. See rules 3 and 5.

13. You’ve got to confront your own concerns or fears about children, adults and predation, as I realized when I saw two naked seven-year-old girls exit a steam room which, when I entered, I saw was filled with half a dozen naked men, none of whom appeared to be their father. No one was worried.

14. Though it is beyond all comprehension to a North American, it is possible to have naked teen and twentysomething males, in groups, be around naked teen and twentysomething women without so much as a comment or leer.

15. Naked German and Austrian sauna-goers think Swiss Germans, who sometimes hike naked, are ridiculous.

16. If rules 3, 5 and 12 are too much for your post-Victorian self, there is a helpful cold shower outside every sauna and steam room.

I’d been to a naked beach once, in Denmark, that seemed like the set for the world’s largest underwear ad (minus the underwear). But Aquaria was different, intimate, without being sexual. (Well, not very, anyway.) It was a good primer in cultural differences, and an effective closet-opener on body issues and sexual hang-ups. And the sauna’s pretty good, too.

Got a great road story you’d like to share? Send it totravel@globeandmail.com.

[ToneBender]

Nice.
I haven't yet had the pleasure. Maybe in 2015.

[Lemonfresh]

Good to see how Germans are perceived, even I would not sign all of the above.
And also not all Germans are as open to naturism... (unfortunately)... 

[biobruin89]

The average person will strip in the sauna, steam room and jacuzzi, but cover up while moving between them or lounging around, hewing to a sense of propriety understood only by themselves.

  So true.

[Stephen]

Nice share andrew

[TheSeane]

"15. Naked German and Austrian sauna-goers think Swiss Germans, who sometimes hike naked, are ridiculous."

HAHA!!!  Where are Stuart and Karla????


I was recently at a big spa about a month ago.  I've done the occasional sauna rooms but never been to a place like this.  I think they had 10 different sauna rooms not to mention the other floor levels of crazy water relaxing stuff.  They did have a bath area that required full nudity.  Of course this is America so naturally it's gender segregated, lameness.  It is the first time I've seen nudity in a MAINSTREAM social setting outside of the locker room.  Baby steps America, baby steps. 

[Delta]

Stuart has left the forum, but Karla lists her location as Scotland again.

[TheSeane]

Stuart has left the forum, but Karla lists her location as Scotland again.

Oh! 

[aepplerqueen]

Its true,what is said here

[eagleday]

After reading this, I arrived at one conclusion: I need to learn German, ASAP! I mean, schnell!!!

[lock7235]

The saunas are one of the reasons that I really wanna Travel to Austria and Germany for, and there is also the fact Im part Austrian

[nudetrail]

The saunas are one of the reasons that I really wanna Travel to Austria and Germany for, and there is also the fact Im part Austrian

I would love to travel there on my bucketlist.

[Dan]

7. You don’t talk above a whisper in the saunas and steam rooms. I don’t know why.

Because other people are trying to relax.

9. Germans will get naked at the slightest opportunity. Their normalization of naked may be the root of an explanation for the well-known German propensity for the more extreme versions of both porn and sex. If your culture is this comfortable with nakedness, then your porn and sexual proclivities have to offer something more.

German porn is mostly for the US market. Most Germans have no idea of the kind of porn they are famous for. That said, it's probably less and less true due to the Internet.

13. You’ve got to confront your own concerns or fears about children, adults and predation, as I realized when I saw two naked seven-year-old girls exit a steam room which, when I entered, I saw was filled with half a dozen naked men, none of whom appeared to be their father. No one was worried.

Of course no one was worried... Why would anyone be? North Americans seriously need to realize their fears are bloody ridiculous.