Call for Fifty Shades boycott

[Dan]

And it's now the second most lucrative movie ever on opening night...

[Jen]

Look - the books are pretty trashy - but it's important not to overthink the message sometimes. I don't think it will result in a revolution where woman are tied up and flogged for some blokes kicks. The fact that most of the readers are women sort of says it all - for many girls it's a bit of a clit flick.

When I was in my teens couldn't imagine any sort of  kink in the bedroom, but as I get older my horizons have got broader, and let's say that thrills come in many guises - and it doesn't mean losing control over the situation, nor losing respect.

With this movie and books - yes - they are trashy - but let's just  about them.

[eagleday]

The fact that most of the readers are women sort of says it all - for many girls it's a bit of a clit flick.

With this movie and books - yes - they are trashy - but let's just  about them.

Amen.

[Dan]

Look - the books are pretty trashy - but it's important not to overthink the message sometimes. I don't think it will result in a revolution where woman are tied up and flogged for some blokes kicks. The fact that most of the readers are women sort of says it all - for many girls it's a bit of a clit flick.

@Jen

I don't think we can't overthink it much because it's not the subtle kind of story.

Here's a comment I read today that perfectly illustrates what's harmful in 50 shades:

I wasn't going to get on the "this movie promotes domestic abuse by glorifying it" bandwagon but then I saw it. See, I was under the impression, before hand, that it was just a complete misrepresentation of a D/S relationship. But, the kind of misunderstanding that isn't really harmful, only mildly so, such a people ending up crying them selves to sleep for one night.
No, no. This represents actual emotional abuse.

And the issue is, that I know that in some circles I'll just get shouted down as a prude who doesn't understand... despite actually being in a real D/S relationship.
Here's the deal. The guy in the book/movie just takes over this woman's life. Suddenly. Gives her mixed signals, plays with her emotions, the works. And, hold on with me here for a second, that is part of BDSM from a social relationship point of view.

But here's why the guy in the book/movie is wrong, and the other people who do it in real life are (when done correctly) still fine upstanding people's.

Consent.

Consent is the difference.

The guy in the book/movie just does all of this without the girl's knowledge or consent. Christian Grey stalks, controls, and manipulates Anna without ever once asking if any of it is okay. And the one time she fucks up, he throws her over his shoulder and carries her away screaming at her "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

Not. Okay.

Here's how that is supposed to work in the real world. Dom gets in contact with Sub. Sub expresses interest, or Dom brings up the subject of moving D/S play out of the bedroom. Dom is in control of a certain number of aspects of Sub's life, from a little to all. But they discuss this.

Oh, and little detail. The second D/S play extends outside the bedroom, so do safewords. So if the Dom were controlling the Sub in a way the Sub didn't like, the Sub would say, for example, "teacup". Bam. It all stops. Dom apologizes, and they discuss what crossed the line where.

Notice a difference? At no point does Anna consent to any of this manipulative bullshit. So it's abuse. Plain and fucking simple. She can't stop it. There was never an arrangement make to stop it. The only thing she can do is leave, which she does... only to come back for two more fucking books.

The series is a fantastic case study in an emotionally abusive relationship. If you see that shit happening to someone you know, please, intervene. Because they're going to do what Anna did, go back. Because for some reason, humans go back to abuse after they've been conditioned to it for so long.

What the series isn't, however, is a sexual awakening, or a real representation of a D/S relationship in any shape, way, or form. And I don't know who read it and thought that it was.

Fuck. 50 Shades.

It's artistic merits or lack of are absolutely secondary to that.

[Jen]

At least this film get's people talking about what is right and wrong - and hopefully leads to a better understanding of what is acceptable and what isn't.

[Dan]

At least this film get's people talking about what is right and wrong - and hopefully leads to a better understanding of what is acceptable and what isn't.

Eventually, yes. Just like Birth of Nation is a good movie to watch today to understand the racist ideology that gave birth to the Ku Klux Klan. But it was a very harmful movie at the time that incited very harmful feelings.

(Just to be clear, I'm not saying Fifty Shades is as damaging as Birth of a Nation was. I'm just saying that those are two movies that in their own time are quite damaging)

[jabber1990]

I feel this says enough

[rdfcguy]

Hey, I believe it's disgusting, too, but making headlines like that will only boost it's popularity. We can only hope that people ignore it and wait until it fades into obscurity.

[INnudeguy]

Hey, I believe it's disgusting, too, but making headlines like that will only boost it's popularity. We can only hope that people ignore it and wait until it fades into obscurity.

 

[Fitz1980]

I feel this says enough

Kurt Busch (that is the NASCAR driver in your pic) is a real guy who really beat up his wife.  Christian Grey is a fictional character in a book/movie series.  So not quite the same thing. 

Also I'd hardly say that nobody cares about "50 Shades" becoming a major motion picture.  Some religious conservative groups have called for a boycott.  Some feminist groups have criticized it for Christian Grey being a creepy stalker in how he treats the girl but the story still making him out to be the dashing hero.  Even folks who are into BDSM have criticized it because BDSM is a form of sexual role-playing where the consent of both partners to act out a fantasy of control/submission is key.  Christian Grey really does want to control all aspects of her life, and not as a game.

[BellaJordan]

Remember that everyone shares different opinions and topics like this can cause and uproar and arguement. Where some may not like the ideas of the books or movie another person might like them

Different tastes and different opinions..

[Jesseintx]

Remember that everyone shares different opinions and topics like this can cause and uproar and arguement. Where some may not like the ideas of the books or movie another person might like them

Different tastes and different opinions..

Exactly. What's good for one isn't necessarily good for another. No right or wrong. It's just about what each individual enjoys.

[Longingtobenude]

I don't have anything against BDSM or the dom/sub relationship.  And even the negative aspects I think are outweighed by the wave the book/movie made.  It got people talking about sex in a society that is very sexually repressed.  That is a huge plus in my opinion. 

But as far as the ridiculous unrealistic depictions of almost everything in it, Its on the level of a Harlequin romance.  I don't think people are gonna see that and think "this is how things are" anymore than someone watching porn will.