n family nudity, different strokes 4 different folks, and kids will let you know

[Danee]

In family nudity, different strokes for different folks, and children will let you know where their boundaries lieIn last week’s parenting dilemma, a mother asked where to set the boundaries in family nudity, sparking quite a broad range of responses. While some thought a father should never share a bath with his child, others considered this a normal and enjoyable family activity. Polly O’Malley expressed the view of many readers when she observed: “if we can’t be naked in front of our own parents without there being an ulterior motive, that is something very sad”.  Wonkyway pointed out that a shared bath can have great benefits for parents, as it exposes your body to uncensored critics:  “I'm the father of three boys aged 9, 7 and 5. Neither my wife nor I can manage a bath without at least one of the boys joining us. Our guest usually brings a lego boat, dinosaur or similar addition with him and the pointed gaze followed by the inevitable statement: ‘Daddy's fat tummy!’ have done much to help me shed 24kg over the last 12 months.”  However, other readers found the idea of adults and children in baths – related or not – quite disturbing.  Related Articles

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   Dr Rob Kidd, a retired biologist and lecturer in medical anatomy, sent me an email in response to the question. I enjoyed his scientific approach, so have printed it – with his permission - below:
 “I speak here as a parent rather than as a biologist. I have two daughters, and in recent years, five grandkids. If I go through the slide library of the kids growing up, I can find hundreds of pictures of me sharing a bath with them, having nude water fights or whatever – and I firmly believe this is normal, harmless fun. I would suggest that it runs its course naturally and it is not a question of making a decision of when it is time to stop, but more that it stops naturally.
 I often think about what is it (and this is the biologist in me) that stops me looking at my own girls in the way I would look at any other good-looking girl in the street. I honestly believe that there is a biologically innate mechanism that stops (normal) people from having any sexual desire with their own kids. That is, it is not a case if me saying to myself: “you mustn’t do that, it’s wrong”, but more that one simply does not want to.
 I could no more have looked at my girls in a pervish manner than fly to the moon but, like any other honest man, I can happily be attracted to a non-relative I see in the street.
 You may think this is unrelated to your question, but I suggest it is: to wander around the bedroom naked is entirely natural – and if the kids come in, well, whatever. But that is the point: there is, in my opinion, an innate blocking mechanism so that it makes no difference whether one is clothed or not; if it is family, the blocks go up.”
 Dr Kidd touches on what to me is perhaps key to the issue: nudity, bath-sharing, nudist beaches, these things are all normal if the people involved are normal, and if everyone is a willing participant.
 I have a Japanese friend who told me that she and her sister bathed with their father until into their early teens. They had a big bathtub, and it was just what they did. While that’s not something my father and I would have done, and I can recall thinking it was fairly funny when he walked around the house in his underwear, if it works for your family, then I don’t see a problem. But the second your child suggests that they are no longer comfortable, that’s the time to come up with a new plan.



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9597832/In-family-nudity-different-strokes-for-different-folks-and-children-will-let-you-know-where-their-boundaries-lie.html

[JT]

I can remember taking showers with my dad when I was real little, and I never thought much of it then or now. I don't remember having fun in a bath or anything. But I can understand and see how our relationship would have been different even as an older child if he was open enough for more simple playful quality nude time other than what we did.

I remember my first weekend camping with my foster parents.  They had a outdoor shower rigged up i outdoors with a bunch of buckets heated by the sun and a hose coming down to use to shower with. Keith took me there my first time to shower, and we showerd together.

At first I felt awkward about it, a grown man, hardly knew him, and everything was so new to me still. I remeber as we showered, I really liked it, not only cause I was nude, outdoors, and with someone else, but I was with someone else I really liked, liked and care about a lot. That few minutes I think brought us closer together, and made a difference right there, and opened the door for a better relationship. Even though we've never really been nude together since then, I still feel it changed stuff for the better for us.

[lbee872]

Good read 

[newaussie]

Easy to see different families have different standards. Just glad I was able to be in a relaxed home.

[N.M.S.]

 

[somedude817]

I think the professor hit the nail on the head. Someone may bring up the counterpoint of parents who sexually abuse their children not having that biological mechanism, and that might be true, but that's not because they weren't born with it, but rather that they unlearned it through the abuse they probably received as children from their mentally ill and abusive parent(s). I haven't done any research, but I've read things here and there that support this.

[steve tanner]

So many great articles on here! :)

[cp]

very wise words, and nicely written, thanks for sharing it...