Interview with Leah

[BellaJordan]

[admin]Administrator intro:@Leah has been with us since this place was built, so long ago.  I knew here and her deep, intelligent writings on another forum and dragged her little Aussie butt in here as her intellect, viewpoint and thought process was so badly needed. She has been, in many ways, a mentor on many things to me, far and away above FKK/Naturism.  She taught me how to read newspapers from other countries on a weekly basis for example.  That stuck with me. Broaden your viewpoint, she said. And, I did. Now, as she takes a leave for personal reasons, I am letting folks know just how much this person means to me personally, and, to many in residence here. Some who have gone on, and some who remain.  We wish you nothing but safety, health and happiness dear friend.  And know above all, there is someone here who misses you tremendously.  -Danee[/admin]

My name is Leah; which is an acronym of Louise Adelaide Elizabeth H......... .  The use came about from my Grandfather as Louise Adelaide was my Grandmother's name and it seemed simpler for him and the family to have a differentiator.  She passed away when I was six but the name has stuck and is used by my family and friends.

Where did you grow up?
I was born in Armidale, New South Wales by caesarean section after my mother struggled in labour for many hours in terrifying pain.  Lived on the family property until I was 13 before being sent down to school in Sydney.  All my early schooling was in a 100 student public school – not quite Laura Ingalls but very close.

I grew up with two older brothers, and a younger brother and sister – Mum and Dad stayed married until they died within days of each other.

Were you brought up religiously/secularly/other?
My father only saw the inside of church for "hatchings, matchings and despatchings" and I never determined if he believed in God or saw the need for one.  My mother came from a devoted Catholic background but never went to church without Dad, so essentially never went to church – she observed some of the rituals of the Catholic Church, like fish on Fridays and would cross herself on hearing of death, disease or damage.

For myself, happily atheist and this was drummed into me during the high school years I spent at a Catholic Boarding College for Girls.  I can argue for hours on end the evidence against there being a God or panopoly of gods.  But I have the grace to never do so.

Was there turbulence throughout your childhood/adolescence?
During my time in the two room public school I was continually bullied by one girl – often violently, usually being accused of things I didn't do.  While my parent's view was that it would sort itself out when I moved to Sydney, this period has been an ongoing influence in my life.

I think there were a number of inputs that put me down as a target for the bully – my family is wealthy, so called "kings in grass castles", all the tests say I am intelligent and creative and I found it easy to be friends with the aboriginal kids.  I really enjoyed playing with the aboriginal kids as they could make a game out of nearly anything.

I loved boarding school for the opportunities and relationships I have developed – my entire year remain fairly close and my closest friend is the girl I shared a room with for the last two years.  While I missed my family when I first went down we were kept so busy and active with sport and study there was little time to be sentimental.

The one thing that came from this was that the only real exposure to boys was during the summer break where the family would pack up and rent a house on the Sunshine Coast for six weeks, so there was time to meet a few boys during that time – the one thing I noticed was that the boys were so immature; constantly needing reassurance or recognition from their mates.

Were you ever embarrassed about your development/puberty? If so, why?
When I arrived in Sydney I believed that the other girls were further into puberty than I was.  They all had real boobs and generally masses of pubic hair, while I had very little of either – over twenty years later I still don't. 

I don't think I was embarrassed though the ages of 12 to 14 if I found myself in a group of naked sporting girls I would face away.  I grew out of this by the time I was 15 and in my final two years; when I had moved out of dormitory to shared room accommodation – I could spend hours reading topless under the window of my room.  The boobs were still not bigger but they were tanned.

Can you remember any key moments in your formative years that shaped your sexuality?
I have always thought of myself as straight and my first real sexual encounter was with a seventeen year old boy when I was in Year 11 and on holidays with the family.  We didn't have sex that evening but I realised the power a woman has over men when it comes to sex.
It is not a strength thing but I was in control – his was considerate and gentle, but really his focus never changed from getting off and I could control that.  To this day I always feel in control when having sex.

That said I am not averse to cuddling up to a pleasuring a girlfriend – it wasn't unusual for me and my roommate at school to lie on the floor and in the sunshine and experiment.  I would hate to think what would have happened if the House Mistress had stumbled upon us.  Though it was common knowledge that the boarders would sunbake topless or naked in their rooms it was never openly spoken of; and there would be no doubt that other girls experimented.

When did you become aware of your gender?
I think it was the first winter break I had after starting at school in Sydney.  The washing was on the drying line and among all the drill clothing of my father and older brothers was a pink bra; my pink bra.  It was an avatar of my femininity amongst a collage of testosterone.

What, if any, are the obstacles you've overcome on your path to womanhood?
The largest obstacle, and advantage, I have had is being a woman in Engineering.  I have no doubt I have received advantage by being a woman in a perceived man's world – but there has been the obstacle that I was not treated the same – I don't mean the same as the boys – rather I wouldn't get the physical or remote assignments.

So my specialty became manufacturing and light industries, where I would have loved a greater exposure to the mining and oil and gas sectors.

Womanhood?  That is an impossible definition – ask me in a few more decades.

What is the image you think you project every day?
There are many things I try to be – generous, mindful, caring and thoughtful.  I have been told by many I can be aloof and insensitive – neither that I am proud with but do recognise in hindsight.

I suffer mood swings that will have me operating at an elevated level for months on end before I then spend months wrestling with the black dog that is depression and if people only see me in one of these periods there are diametric views of who I am.  If they see both phases they just get confused.

Is being a naturist a dominant influence in your life?
I am naked most of the time if at home or the beach; the two places that dominate my life but the nudity is not dominant, it just is.  I sort of explain it like the girl who always wears purple; I'm just a girl who doesn't both to get dressed unless my nakedness will offend someone.

I am very careful that I keep my nudity location appropriate and my "street clothes" are not revealing or atypical of what others of my age and gender wear around town.

The other thing I do is not coerce people in to being nude around me – while my brothers are slowly getting used to me being naked if they are visiting I have never confronted them about their choice to remain clothed in and around pool.  Though their wives and kids all swim naked in the pool.

How and why did you become a naturist?
The how was a progression of having my own house straight out of school and being able to sunbake in the small garden we had – I shared the house with my younger sister so she wouldn't have to board.  Initially we were always topless but that quickly moved to being naked in the sunshine.

Then I was talking with a colleague at work about where he was holidaying and on looking it up discovered a nude beach adjacent to the camping area he was going to stay at.  On a whim my sister and I went to that beach on a day trip and both have been hooked since.

Why – I get an energy from being naked in the sun that is not the same as when wearing a bikini or even topless.  I hate to go all hippie but I am very calm when naked and I feel my aura is burning bright.

How would you describe your personal experience, existing in the way you do, each day?
I am very independent and keep my close friends very close – I exist happily with my husband, and daily chats with my best friend and almost daily with my sister.

My cycling moods can be very hard on those around me and draw cynicism from those that don't understand the underlying issues.

So I keep myself busy enjoying the beach, writing and reading and working to be the best person I can be.

I also indulge a passion for following politics and engaging with our elected representatives through various blogs and am not averse to send letters to the editor.  There are several US newspapers which seem to ban me from publication because of the outrage I can cause with my views on gun control, the war on terror, the war on drugs, prostitution, religion, vaccination, the death penalty, abortion and the US version of democracy.  I find it interesting that I can get the same letter published in Australia, the US and the UK and only from the US do I get unrestrained flaming, if not threats of personal violence.

What is the image you would like to project?
Knowledgeable and considered – I want to present the alternate viable view.  We suffer that we and our leaders are outputs of our own experience and make decisions based on that experience.  I want people to challenge that past experience determines the future – I prefer the view of serendipity.

What do you think the image other people perceive is?
If they take the time to know me I am knowledgeable and considered – if they are fleeting associates or comrades they I have genuinely "lost the plot".

Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
Pro-choice. 100%.  Religion and unconstrained growth will be the death of this planet.

What are your feelings about casual sex?
As a married woman casual sex with a man other than my husband is off the agenda.  I don't know how he would react; but I love him too much to ever step down a path that could cause doubt or harm in our relationship.

If you are not in a relationship – then knock yourself out.  The thing is that you have to be certain of who is in control; if the power is not balanced it is not consensual and then it is not casual.  Both parties have to be very certain in their own minds that the sex is casual otherwise possessive may arise and that can make the whole thing scary.

What are your feelings about marriage?
Well I am married – only for legal reasons.  We exchanged vows sanding knee deep in the Caribbean Sea and those simple words mean more to the both of us than any certificate or government record of our commitment.

I feel sorry for any individual whose whole mind is lost in the dream of needing to marry.

What are your negatives?
Women on the internet who have internalised mysognistic ideas and shame other women.

What are your feelings about monogamy?
There was an article in yesterday's newspaper which identified that monogamy is an evolutionary step to ensuring diseases do not transfer in to the broader community.  I have no doubt this is the basis for religious directives to monogamy and celibacy.

So my view is what works for you is what you should do.  I made mention above that I would not have casual sex with another man – but I do have and my husband understands the occasional liaison with my best friend or a casual girlfriend when I was travelling with work.  Some may see this as a double standard; I don't.

Do you feel your choice to participate or not participate in consensual sex is at all affected by societal influence?
I tell myself – my body, my choice – and effectively I can do that.

Were you always aware of what your body could do sexually & mechanically?
Not at all and I hope I never am – I love a surprise though there many fetish strategies that I could not embrace.  Being tied up or down scares the living shit out of me.

Where do you feel unsafe as a woman?
Unsafe is a strong word but uncomfortable, threatened or menaced – most places except my home and the beach.

Where is somewhere you can exist without fear?
We live in an isolated house – only the brown snakes present any real menace or threat.

Do women treat you differently than men?
Everyone treats me differently depending on my mood, their mood and the circumstance.  Woman can be my harshest critics though – my mother thought I had made a terrible decision to be an engineer and treated me very different to my sister; actually more like I was her 4th son.

Is there anyone in your world you undermine your principles for?
No – all those I care for have very similar principles to mine.  I strongly believe that without my values and principles I don't exist.

In which situations do you feel safe to speak your mind/stand up for yourself?
Generally I will speak to my values strongly and eloquently.  However, my politics is strongly left (in a non-Stalinist way) and that is contrary to the position of my brothers and many of the local people here.

I realise I cannot convince them that their world view is morally bankrupt so I don't express views that will cause confrontation.  However, if they make comments derogatory to my values – hold on it is going to be a stormy night.

Are you satisfied with the women you see depicted in film, television & advertising?
If you mean American film, television and advertising, then no – it is disgustingly misogynist.  If you mean Scandinavian, French, Spanish or German cinema then fabulous.

The American view of the world and its influence in Australia, the UK, Ireland and some parts of Asia is, is..it has me so furious I am struggling for words.  Look at the Republican candidates for the Presidency – really what do they offer for women, for a more generous and forgiving society.

What is something you deeply love about yourself?
The people I love are my world and I will give my world to them.  I strive to be generous with my love and my affection.

Who are/what are your biggest motivators?
Stupidity – there are so many stupid things we do every day which are of consequence and eat the future of the earth.  Everyone should read the works of Jarrod Diamond and Tim Flannery.

My Father – though he has passed on, his work ethic and believe that any dream can be realised motivate me every day.

My husband – the most intelligent and witty human I know.  Every day is an adventure, everyday I love him more.

What are you feelings on motherhood?
Hard question – my lady bits don't work the way they should.  As believers that we already have enough people on the planet we have made the choice not to pursue IVF or other strategies.
What are your biggest fears?
That my depression will result in me taking my own life – my love of those around me has held this at bay and I intend to keep it that way.

Your greatest accomplishments?
Being me and being happy with that.

Lastly, a quotation to live by?
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain

[Density]

phew, what a long interview but i got through it. thanx for sharing just a little of yourself with us who dont know you or who already do. it is nice to hear that you are an engineer and you are right in seeing how you are treated for being one. a school colleague of mine is woman engineer too and she went through the same motions of not being exposed to the real stuff besides light stuff. not sure how she is now but i hope she is doing more with that engineering. continue to be a caring and loving person because it does stick to others and thankfully you a have friends and family to keep you from the deep end. keep on shining and living Leah. 

[Ad1210]

Wonderful interview. Great insight into other peoples journey through life- thanks for sharing

[iyoni]

A great interview - thanks for sharing!

[BellaJordan]

One of the many great inteviews leah! Thanks for allowing me to share who you are with the community :)

[Mettis]

Great interview ! Thanks for sharing  @Leah @BellaJordan

[Sunlover]

Oh yes, a good lecture   greetings @Leah !

[kahuna]

We'll probably never meet in person, but it would be a grand meeting if we did ! You sound great. Live long!!

[SurfNatural]

This was a refreshing read due to the intimacy of the questions and how heartfelt and honest the answers were.