I mean you can own your identity and also uphold your penis as symbol/tool of power. The Ancient romans used to view the act of penetrating as an extension of ones will to conquest, which is why they frowned on the submissive role as it was seen as unmanly.
I can’t tell if the author has a gripe with men viewing their penis as a symbol of power, or the dissociation of their identity from the penis itself. Seems like both.