Nudists in Bernards say wholesome activities give them nothing to hide (NJersey)

[Danee]

From: http://www.mycentraljersey.com/article/20101107/NEWS/11070318/Nudists-in-Bernards-say-wholesome-activities-give-them-nothing-to-hide

Rich Thiboutot remembers the experience as if it were yesterday.

As a 17-year-old visiting a friend in Florida, he spied a man in the
neighborhood where he was staying head for a local waterway, peel off
his clothes and venture into the water with a bar of soap. He later
learned she was taking a bath. "I said, "I'm going to try that that.'
I was hooked."

That was 40 years ago. Thiboutot, now 57 and married, is one of
thousands of Americans regularly taking part in nude recreation. The
Ringoes resident and his wife, Cindy, are members of Sky Farm, a club
for nudists tucked in a wooded section of Basking Ridge in Bernards,
where they've gone regularly for several years to, as they tell it,
relax and enjoy an experience free of clothes and the pressures of
life.

"It's stress-relieving," said Cindy Thiboutot, 53, as she, her husband
and about a dozen other nudists sat poolside on a warm late-October
afternoon. At the time, temperatures were barely escaping the mid
'60s, under a mostly cloudy sky with brisk winds, and all either
clothed or wearing bathrobes.

"We're nudists, were not stupid," Cindy Thiboutot said, laughing.

ALL WALKS OF LIFE

According to the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR), a
national organization for nude activities and clubs, the activity —
long popular throughout Europe — is as drawing as many people across
the United States as it ever has. AANR claims more than 50,000 members
at about 240 clubs, but it's believed that the number of nudists is
much larger when nonmembers are factored in. Sky Farm, which opened in
1932, serves 261 members, said membership coordinator Kathy Gourley.

Nudists come from virtually every walk of life, said AANR President
Susan Weaver.

"People involved are everything from bankers to bus drivers," Weaver
explained. Rich Thiboutot is a railroad engineer. His wife works in an
office. Other club members include a police officer and a judge,
though club members declined to identify them, citing the nature of
their work. Weaver is a former long-time federal government employee,
whose resume includes work at both the departments of Commerce and
Interior. "We have members who are in public life in major ways;
elected representatives, business, all clusters of American society."

Yet, one of the attractions to nudism cited by Sky Farm members is
that nakedness is the great equalizer; that a person's vocation is
irrelevant. "It doesn't matter what your job is. Everybody's equal,"
said Gourley, 58, of Beachwood.

CODE OF CONDUCT

They're not only equal in terms of occupation but in body, too.

The club's moral code includes a provision barring members from
disparaging comments about another member's body or physical
appearance, Cindy Thiboutot said.

"People who do that can get kicked out," she noted.

Another mandate is that members look one another in the eye, rather
than engage in roving gazes upon one another's anatomy. In fact, Sky
Farm has a list of rules prospective members must agree to follow
before being accepted, including no drugs, alcohol abuse or weapons.

The club also has a rule against sexually explicit behavior or
comments — a mandate that members said goes to the heart of what
nudism and nude recreation is really all about.

"It's definitely not a swinger's club," said Rich Thiboutot,
responding to what club members and Weaver said is perhaps the biggest
misconception about nudists.

"This is about social family experience," Weaver added. "Adult
entertainment? That could not be further from the truth."

For example, at Sky Farm those interviewed said that anyone — visitor,
guest or even member — who engages in promiscuity can be quickly shown
the door. "That's just not what we're about," said Ed Sepko, 58, of
Clifton.

AN OPPOSING VIEW

Yet some groups take issue with the nudists' claim to the moral high
ground, particularly when it comes to the matter of promoting a
"family atmosphere."

Nudism in America, which is younger in its development than on a
global scale, has reached something of a generational crossroads. As
the nudist population has aged here, AANR and its member clubs have
turned in recent years to promoting more involvement by younger
individuals. Part of that effort includes encourages whole families to
join, although the organization has said that family involvement has
always been part of its membership framework.

"Acceptance is growing," said Rich Thiboutot.

"We encourage families to come," echoed Gourley. She and her fellow
Sky Farm members contended that allowing a child, especially a young
one to spend time in the nude is perfectly natural, explaining that
many little ones have done so in private settings, such as their own
homes.

Others disagree.

Len Deo, president of the New Jersey Family Policy Council, a
Parsippany-based organization that advocates for the preservation of
the traditional family unit, questions whether a child in his
preadolescent years can appreciate the implications of going without
clothes in a setting where some people are adults they don't know
well. Deo also questioned whether youngsters of that age group would
even choose on their own to be nude or feel an unspoken pressure from
their parents.

"When they reach the age of reason, 6, 7, 8 years old, they would be
in a situation where they might question what they're doing or be
uncomfortable with it. From a strictly biological standpoint, nudity
has strong physical effects on the body. For even a child, there's an
external stimuli, so any person would experience a release of certain
chemicals and the first stage of a sexual-response cycle. This impacts
the child's ability to control his or her behavior. We would be
concerned about that,"

In a 1998 article, "Normative Sexual Behavior in Children: A
Contemporary Sample," cited by Deo in the medical journal Pediatrics,
a research team from the Mayo Clinic wrote that "Parents who reported
a more relaxed approach to co-sleeping, co-bathing, family
nudity. . .also reported higher levels of sexual behavior in their 2-
to 12-year-old child, even after controlling for the effects of
several other family variables."

"We believe that basically if it's being done by the family in front
of the kids, it's putting them in front of an uncomfortable
situation," Deo said.

Sky Farm members restated that the club is not a gathering area for
sex or other illicit activites. The whole family doesn't sleep in one
bed and watch the parents have sex. That's not what it's about. It's
just like the town pool, only people don't wear bathing suits,'' said
Cindy Thibotout. Mike Dilger, 58, of Green Village, and another Sky
Farm member, said no child is forced at the club to engage in
something he doesn't feel comfortable with. "I think that children in
general as they reach that age get self-conscious about their
environment," he said. Furthermore, Cindy Thibotout said youngsters
take to nudism as if it's natural. "The only reason they think it's
wrong is if you tell them that it is. It's not until someone with hang-
ups tells them it's not good that they become ashamed of their
bodies.''

AANR's president said that as long as the clubs are following the law,
they're protected by it. This includes a right to responsibly practice
nudity, as stated in the organization's bylaws. "We have the right to
practice social nudity in the appropriate settings provided we do not
infringe on the rights of others."

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A WHOLESOME ATMOSPHERE

AANR remains committed to a wholesome atmosphere, not just in terms of
keeping sex out of the mix, but environmentally and socially, Weaver
said. "We have a very strong green ethic. Most resorts pay close
attention to use of the environment. Most are heavily into recycling."

The organization also has become more involved in fund-raising for
breast-cancer awareness, recently hosting a group of eight tribute
bands in an event dubbed Nude-a-palooza, noted the AANR president,
herself a breast-cancer survivor. The event raised $12,000, Weaver
said.

Both Weaver and Sky Farm members said they believe public acceptance
of nude recreation is on the upswing, largely because of efforts to
educate others on the topic.

In addition to its 240 nationwide clubs, Weaver said the organization
hosts cruises and operates resorts. There are web pages where singles
and adults can find nude-recreation activities.

In New Jersey, in addition to Sky Farm, there are about a dozen clubs
or resorts that bill themselves as nude or clothing-optional
facilities. The Courier News attempted unsuccessfully to reach three
of these: Goodland Country Club and Spa in Hackettstown, Rock Lodge
Club in Stockholm, an incorporated area of Hardyston Township in
Sussex County, and Friends of Gunnison, based in Sayreville, which is
billed on the Internet as a travel club. Most are affiliated with
AANR.

And while the weather in many parts of the country isn't conducive to
outdoor nude activities, that doesn't limit these clubs. For example,
Sky Farm offers a year-round array of activities including a sauna,
clubhouse with a large recreation hall and huge fireplace,
entertainment center, pool table, table tennis and a fully-equipped
kitchen.

[Cabding]

The part that stuck with me was that children "might feel pressured". How is what the naturists here seen as any different than what any family might do? Suppose a child "might feel pressured" with a family that consistently goes to church every Sunday? Or with a family that chooses to be vegetarian? Wouldn't the child "feel pressured" into avoiding meat? It's not like they are being forced or coerced. Children love running around naked because we aren't born in sweater vests and dockers. Man, sometimes experts are really dumb.

[crasher35]

The part that stuck with me was that children "might feel pressured". How is what the naturists here seen as any different than what any family might do? Suppose a child "might feel pressured" with a family that consistently goes to church every Sunday? Or with a family that chooses to be vegetarian? Wouldn't the child "feel pressured" into avoiding meat? It's not like they are being forced or coerced. Children love running around naked because we aren't born in sweater vests and dockers. Man, sometimes experts are really dumb.

I agree with you 100%! I think people just get freaked out because they think "OMG, kidz cant see neked people, what's wrong with yous!!!" When in reality, it's only a recent development (in the grand scheme of human history) that children have been so sheltered from nudity!

It's really sad. I've known of girls who go into adulthood and don't even know what a penis looks like. Besides the fact that sex-ed should at least teach people about the reproductive organs, how they function, and everything you need to know about them (including what they look like), it's really sad that nudity is hidden away to such an extreme...

[Cabding]

A completely natural part of history, and some people don't even know what it looks like. Nice.

[Danee]

The part that stuck with me was that children "might feel pressured". How is what the naturists here seen as any different than what any family might do? Suppose a child "might feel pressured" with a family that consistently goes to church every Sunday? Or with a family that chooses to be vegetarian? Wouldn't the child "feel pressured" into avoiding meat? It's not like they are being forced or coerced. Children love running around naked because we aren't born in sweater vests and dockers. Man, sometimes experts are really dumb.

I agree with you 100%! I think people just get freaked out because they think "OMG, kidz cant see neked people, what's wrong with yous!!!" When in reality, it's only a recent development (in the grand scheme of human history) that children have been so sheltered from nudity!

It's really sad. I've known of girls who go into adulthood and don't even know what a penis looks like. Besides the fact that sex-ed should at least teach people about the reproductive organs, how they function, and everything you need to know about them (including what they look like), it's really sad that nudity is hidden away to such an extreme...

[hjmartin]

Well duh.  Of course a child is going to "feel an unspoken pressure from their parents."  That's what parents are supposed to do!  Guide their child's development.  Exert pressure to bathe regularly, to eat healthy, to learn a good work ethic, to behave appropriately, etc, etc, etc, etc.  A parent who doesn't ever assert any such pressure on their children is neglectful.

Oh and by the way, most very young children are already quite familiar with the "pressure from their parents".... TO WEAR CLOTHES!

[davelemmo]

Well duh.  Of course a child is going to "feel an unspoken pressure from their parents."  That's what parents are supposed to do!  Guide their child's development.  Exert pressure to bathe regularly, to eat healthy, to learn a good work ethic, to behave appropriately, etc, etc, etc, etc.  A parent who doesn't ever assert any such pressure on their children is neglectful.

Oh and by the way, most very young children are already quite familiar with the "pressure from their parents".... TO WEAR CLOTHES!

Parents are always pressuring their kids to do one way or another as they do or say. However, When the parents do something considered taboo, then the "moral majority" groups get all whiny, yet such groups have no problems with parents taking their kids to Jesus Camp, where they are pressured into praying to a cutout of George W. Bush, and into seeing things in a way that is contrary to established scientific knowledge.
Oh wait, this "Moral Majority" is in bed with the Jesus culture, that must be why they dont object to such practices, while objecting to things that fit outside of their "morality".