International Young Naturists Organisation
Naturist Resources => Blogs, Videos, Articles about Naturism/Nudity => Topic started by: NakedShadow on July 31, 2016, 07:52:27 pm
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Interesting article that I found about a non-nudist woman's attempt in trying out a nude beach. Written by Loryn Brantz
https://www.buzzfeed.com/lorynbrantz/i-went-to-a-nude-beach-and-it-was-kind-of-a-nightmare?utm_term=.vtwL018zR#.uhxn06L3x (https://www.buzzfeed.com/lorynbrantz/i-went-to-a-nude-beach-and-it-was-kind-of-a-nightmare?utm_term=.vtwL018zR#.uhxn06L3x)
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/11/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane02/sub-buzz-13111-1469547655-9.jpg?resize=625:767&no-auto)
"I Went To A Nude Beach And Hated Every Minute Of It
“Instead of feeling like a celebration of my body, it feels more like I’m Cersei taking her walk of shame on Game of Thrones.”
An ill-advised plan is hatched.
I was headed on vacation with my husband to a town with a nude beach for a week, and I decided we absolutely must visit it (no matter how uncomfortable the idea made me). My sweet husband wasn’t crazy about the idea, but being the supportive guy he is, he got on board. There is a swirl of reasons I was attracted to the idea of a nude beach. At 31 years old, I’ve conquered an eating disorder, most of my body dysmorphia, and countless other seemingly unconquerable insecurities.
Last year, when I turned 30, I went on a celebratory bikini walk — it was the only time I had ever worn a bikini out, and it ended up being pretty liberating. And now, one year into my thirties, I’ve been enjoying the graduation-goggled view of my body many other women talk about as their bodies start to change; noticing wrinkles and new soft patches makes you realize how good you had it in your twenties. If only there were a way to bottle up that feeling of enjoying what you have while you have it to give to younger women.
My time with this reasonably ripe body was running out, and I figured I’d better do something with it. Getting naked at the beach seemed like the perfect thing…until it wasn’t.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/12/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane02/sub-buzz-14187-1469549859-7.jpg?resize=625:647&no-auto)
I call to my husband to put on his bathing suit so we can get going, and he aptly reminds me that we wouldn’t need bathing suits where we’re going.
I laugh at the accuracy and decide to throw on my favorite and most flattering swimsuit, just in case I chicken out. Even though I never wear makeup to the beach, I find myself slathering it on — my tits may be out, but at least my dark circles will be well undercover.
As we drive to the beach I start to get increasingly nervous. I decide to crack open the book I brought to unwind, Sex Object by Jessica Valenti. It seems like fate; the foreword alone shakes me to my core. I find myself tearing up by the end of the first four pages.
Here’s what Valenti writes:
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/14/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane01/sub-buzz-31118-1469557827-11.png?no-auto)
HarperCollins / Via harpercollins.com
I relate to it all so hard it hurts. And it reveals a purpose in my nude-beach expedition that I knew deep down inside but couldn’t find the words to say. I’m doing this nude beach trip to take back my body, which society long ago decided it owned. To take back what’s mine.
I’m doing it to spite the teen boys who weren’t worthy of me awkwardly flashing them in high school, in some bizarre practice of trying to seem desirable. I’m doing it to show the world my body isn’t theirs to force into a size or shape, to decide what happens to my ovaries, or how high my tits should rest. I’m doing it for my fucking self.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/13/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane03/sub-buzz-6322-1469554178-1.jpg?resize=625:469)
This particular beach starts off clothed and slowly turns nude as you get farther down.
I am not a beach bunny. My ancestors descended from snowy mountains. Pale and soft like a Russian cloth doll, I look like I should be draped in wolf pelts to stay warm at any given moment. I put this aside for the moment as we trek down the shore.
At first blush, I’m awestruck. I see several middle-aged women glistening nude in the sun, walking about — lumps and bumps be damned! It feels like a paradise; all I want out of life is to dance naked under the sun and moon with fellow women. I think to myself, I will bring my future daughters here to see bodies that aren’t retouched in magazines.
My daydream comes to a sudden halt when I spot a group of frat boys fully dressed, passing a football nearby.
I suddenly not only don’t want to undress, but I also want to run and hide. I ask my husband why those guys are dressed; he infers that it’s “clothing optional.” It feels weird and unfair that some people on this part of the beach are dressed.
We keep walking, and as we go farther down the beach it becomes apparent that the group of women I saw were the only ones there. The rest of the beach is teeming with older men — penises waving in the sun. As we almost reach the end of the beach, a stalky, silver-haired nude man probably around my father’s age approaches me and says the rest of the beach is too rocky to go down. He may have very well had good intentions, but after a lifetime of being approached by creepy men, a small voice in my head says, “He wants you to stop here so he can see your tits.” I try to ignore it.
This isn’t New York City, I tell myself. These are nudists, this is a respectable beach. We go ahead and take the older guy’s advice, stopping there. I try to be chill and decide to start by taking off just my top.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/12/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane02/sub-buzz-21322-1469551535-1.jpg?resize=625:865)
Almost immediately after taking off my top, I catch the silver-haired man smirking and watching.
Horrified, I quickly grab a piece of clothing and cover my breasts. The man then starts to walk down the beach and I try to calm myself. I give myself a moment to settle and an internal pep talk. Take back your body! I yell in my mind.
With that, I peel off the rest of my clothes. I feel vulnerable and soft, like a snail without its shell simmering in the sun. I try to position myself on the beach chair in a way that covers some of my most private bits. My horror is laced with small bursts of enjoyment when the breeze hits my bare chest.
As I’m having an internal meltdown, I look over to see my husband fully nude, eating a lobster roll, appearing to be having the time of his life — in what seems like a way I could never be. Infuriated at the double standard, I am incentivized more to try to relax and enjoy this experience. I pull my book out for a distraction.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/13/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane03/sub-buzz-12664-1469555162-3.jpg?resize=625:773)
I try to read, but I’m too distracted.
I end up finding ways to hold the book that covers my body, so that passing men can’t see my breasts. The irony of holding a book that says “Sex Object” for coverage is not lost on me. This isn’t working for me.
I make my husband put our umbrella up (a task I usually take care of) in fear of moving in weird positions while nude. I watch as he brazenly does whatever he pleases: running to the ocean, sunning his bottom, having a snack. In a last-ditch effort to enjoy myself, I head to the water for a dip.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/14/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane01/sub-buzz-30503-1469556343-1.jpg?resize=625:615)
Going to the water is OK, but instead of feeling like a celebration of my body, it feels more like I’m Cersei taking her walk of shame on Game of Thrones.
I head back to my chair and spend some time watching passersby. It’s mostly the same men I’ve been seeing wandering around. When two straight couples walk by, in both pairs the male is fully nude, balls swinging about. And in both pairs, the female has her towel draped carefully over her breasts. Feeling defeated, I pull my swimsuit back on.
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-07/26/14/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane03/sub-buzz-18734-1469556949-1.jpg?resize=625:803)
Obviously this wasn’t the best time, but I’m still glad I did it.
It fueled my fire to try to get the way I feel about my body on level playing ground with the men I saw on the beach (regardless of how they feel about it). Surprisingly, I’m looking forward to trying it again, but at a different beach. Ideally one with more women and more privacy. Hopefully, by my 32nd birthday, the world will be a little more ready for my tits, and I’ll be a little more ready to enjoy them. "
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Nice read. Thanks for sharing, bud.
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She sounds like she really needs to get over herself.
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This is the first experience of many women at nude beaches - she doesn't need to get over herself.
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She sounds like she really needs to get over herself.
Makes it sound like it's that easy... It's not.
To understand try to imagine how it feels like to be treated like an object (and not even talking about beïng on a nude beach, but what many experience daily). It makes you feel disempowered, demeaned. Makes you feel humiliated, disappointed, unloved, ...
I perfectly understand how she feels and agree with Leah, she does not need to get over herself. I'm sure you don't mean to, but saying she does comes across as insensitive.
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She sounds like she really needs to get over herself.
How in the world do you make this statement? I respect you, Dario but would very much like to know your rationale?
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Nice article that reveals the reality for many newbies.
She's courageous.
I will always be angry against creepy people on nude beaches :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
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She sounds like she really needs to get over herself.
The problem is not her AT ALL.
The problem is some creepy people on those beaches !
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Even as a guy, my first time at a nude beach felt a little like that. A lot of older guys were obviously trying to get a look at my crotch as they went by. It was extremely offputting.
Perhaps the woman from the article would have had better luck at a club or something.
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I understand her frustration. Even from a guys perspective. Ive frequented many nude beaches, and sadly her situation is fairly common. It took my girlfriend some time to get used to it and overcome the fear of old guys just staring at her. Its just something you learn to ignore. All we can do as nudist/naturists is stick to our values and be supportive of others. Ignoring the pervs and gawkers is the best we can do. We all deserve to be 100% comfortable in our own bodies.
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So can infer with mentions of lobster rolls and the pictures of rocks that this is the nude beach on Martha's Vineyard. I can see why she would have this reaction on that beach.
Though very tolerated, I think going nude on this beach and walking around takes some boldness. The natural eroding clay cliffs are a big attraction for clothed tourists here, and "going to see the nudists" is also a novelty for some when they walk down the beach to get a closer look at the cliffs.
It isn't really ideal for first timers. Noone wants to feel like a zoo animal, male or female.
It seems like her choice of title may have been a bit overstated, buzzfeed clickbait probably. I think her trepidation was understood, and she was bold to keep at it. Towards the end she seemed quite proud that she was able to have this first time experience and is willing to seek out a different location with a more diverse crowd and vibe.
I'm going there next week, and have never been on a beach nude. I have the similar trepidations of onlookers. I hope to be bold enough to walk around freely, that will be my personal goal.
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Very interesting article.
I got the impression that she had a preconceived notion that the nude part of the beach would be teeming with nude people of both sexes and all ages. When in fact, like many nude beaches, it's clothing optional and clothed people visit them as well. That could lead to a whole separate discussion of why someone would go to a nude beach if they don't plan to get nude, so I'm not gonna go there. Bottom line, it sucks that her first experience was negative like this, and I hope she's willing to give it another try.
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I am curious as to the venue that they went to. I do think she over-reacted a little bit, reading her reactions to feelings she had. A little research and networking with various legitimate Naturist non-landed groups would tell her the story of that beach, it's ambience etc.
I noted the comment she felt uneasy when the gentleman smirking after she took off her top. I am betting he was, as most naturists may be, smiling at a newbie but not mocking them. We are happy when they take that first ever step. Who knows. She mentions nothing about woodies or such either.
She was insecure and still is and that is all. Hopefully she will try it again at a club or resort and then find a naturist venue that is more family friendly. They exist.
She was not ready to try to ditch her insecurities, that is all. She didn't do research.
Balls swinging about? I am happy it was a warm day. :love2
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Many good points there Danee. I bet she will try it again in due time. A beach can be a little intimidating for a first-timer as well (I started with a hot springs myself).
As for balls swinging about...well as I'm sure you know, if it wasn't a warm day, there isn't much swinging cuz they tend to shrivel up :lol
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Many good points there Danee. I bet she will try it again in due time. A beach can be a little intimidating for a first-timer as well (I started with a hot springs myself).
As for balls swinging about...well as I'm sure you know, if it wasn't a warm day, there isn't much swinging cuz they tend to shrivel up :lol
Nothin' wrong with swinginballsies. Or any other part of the bod.
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It's so sad that she hated the beach, I hope she can at least try and give the beach another shot if not maybe go to a local club, but what she wrote is a lot of what is stopping people from going to these beaches and clubs is the fact you will see people looking at you.
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I am curious as to the venue that they went to. I do think she over-reacted a little bit, reading her reactions to feelings she had. A little research and networking with various legitimate Naturist non-landed groups would tell her the story of that beach, it's ambience etc.
I'm no geologist but I'm about 98% positive that this is Moshup beach on Martha's Vineyard. She mentions in the article about lobster rolls, and you can get them at the restaurant near the entrance of the beach. I've been doing research on it since will be there next week. Sadly I haven't found much about it that puts it into a positive light, but not necessarily negative either, uncomfortable seems to be the word. Here is another account that i found that is similar to the article, but from a guy's perspective https://paweekendfun.com/2014/10/02/clothing-optional-my-first-adult-visit-to-a-nude-beach/
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It's a shame she didn't enjoy and understandably so but I'm glad she wasn't totally turned away from social nudity and is willing to try it again.
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is it only me that shes reading a strange book, its like she has a "sex object" post it in her face aka "look at me, i want attention"...
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I get both sides of the argument here, those being that (a) the problem wasn't really the nudity itself but the constant male gaze and societal attitudes and (b) some people just like wearing clothes better (gasp!). these aren't mutually exclusive. at least she came away from it with a positive message
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
Yeah there is this myth that naturists are the most tolerant accepting people on the planet. Nope, we have people in our community who are intolerant, territorial and paranoid who treat new people like shit, form a barrier around them and rergard them with suspicion - at least for a while. In more extreme circumstances these people invent scandalous rumours about new people in an attempt to ensure permanent exclusion.
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
Yeah there is this myth that naturists are the most tolerant accepting people on the planet. Nope, we have people in our community who are intolerant, territorial and paranoid who treat new people like shit, form a barrier around them and rergard them with suspicion - at least for a while. In more extreme circumstances these people invent scandalous rumours about new people in an attempt to ensure permanent exclusion.
The elitism in nudism just floors me because it's like... you're just not dressed. A lack of wardrobe doesn't magically make you some kind of enlightened. State of dress doesn't dictate personality. I mean, how fucking special is nudity when literally everyone on the planet has access to it simply by being a human being? Like I said before, many...MANY nudists need to pull their heads out of their asses. Nevermind that the concept of nudism should just die off, but hey...
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
Yeah there is this myth that naturists are the most tolerant accepting people on the planet. Nope, we have people in our community who are intolerant, territorial and paranoid who treat new people like shit, form a barrier around them and rergard them with suspicion - at least for a while. In more extreme circumstances these people invent scandalous rumours about new people in an attempt to ensure permanent exclusion.
The elitism in nudism just floors me because it's like... you're just not dressed. A lack of wardrobe doesn't magically make you some kind of enlightened. State of dress doesn't dictate personality. I mean, how fucking special is nudity when literally everyone on the planet has access to it simply by being a human being? Like I said before, many...MANY nudists need to pull their heads out of their asses. Nevermind that the concept of nudism should just die off, but hey...
I think the sociology in this is illustrated best by this...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DS0br1mWAAI2Zr3.jpg)
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
Well said.
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I've taken non naturist women to a nude beach before and based on my experience, this is my conclusion. In my opinion, a female's first public nude experience should probably be at a naturist resort and not a beach. Nude resorts have nude people that understand nude etiquette and would ease the minds of more self-conscious people. Unfortunately there are just too many creepy males around who have molded the minds of females into thinking they are an object for a males sexual desires.
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People saying that she overreacted are trash. The problem does not sit with her; it's with the people who are not making this space comfortable for all.
We do not get to invalidate someone's experience just because it was not our own.
Yeah there is this myth that naturists are the most tolerant accepting people on the planet. Nope, we have people in our community who are intolerant, territorial and paranoid who treat new people like shit, form a barrier around them and rergard them with suspicion - at least for a while. In more extreme circumstances these people invent scandalous rumours about new people in an attempt to ensure permanent exclusion.
And it's even worse when these afore-mentioned people are also leaders and organizers of nudist groups who patronize those venues.
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I've taken non naturist women to a nude beach before and based on my experience, this is my conclusion. In my opinion, a female's first public nude experience should probably be at a naturist resort and not a beach. Nude resorts have nude people that understand nude etiquette and would ease the minds of more self-conscious people. Unfortunately there are just too many creepy males around who have molded the minds of females into thinking they are an object for a males sexual desires.
I can turn your statement around to make it ring true too. I've taken some non-naturist women to nude beaches and they had the time of their lives with no dramas. Plus I have also taken some non-naturist women to a certain nudist venue that I had been going to for nearly 30 years and they hated it because they were given too much attention by some of the creepy guys there, which the venue management was too soft on. One of my first ex-girlfriends used to accompany me to a swim club I took her to, generally she enjoyed herself but there was one time an older guy monopolized her time whilst I was talking to other friends or going to the toilet for a minute. She told me later on about him and the next time I saw him I had a word to him that being over-friendly towards the women is the reason why a lot of women don't like social nudism.
He got the message and never attended the club again.
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Wow this sucks. I hate seeing people have bad experiences at a first time nudism attempt. Stupid idiots gotta ruin it for everyone.