Diving into the challenge of parenthood

[Danee]

Heartwarming Story About A Family's Experience at Rooster Rock

By kristy kottkey

The Forest Grove News-Times, Sep 8, 2010,

Afew weeks ago, my husband and son and I set out to find the spectacular swimming beaches at Oregon’s Rooster Rock State Park in the Gorge.

A few wrong turns and a very long, sandy and hot walk later, we stumbled across the most astounding beach I had seen. In front of us stretched about a half-mile of warm water mini-pools and a large sandy beach with an island across the sandbar.

All of this was against the stunning backdrop of the Columbia Gorge on a cloudless summer day. We set our blanket down and within seconds, my son had stripped down and was splashing through the river, naked as a jaybird.

Fortunately -- or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it -- this wasn’t going to be a problem because apparently we had landed smack dab in the middle of the nude beach.

To the left of us were several older men and ladies wearing nothing but sunscreen and floppy hats. And suddenly, there were naked people trekking across the beach to the island.

As I stood there with a wry smile on my face, I marveled at the way we had stumbled across another unexpected and unintended life moment, and how this so closely mirrored our experience with parenting.

Henry turned six this summer and is autistic. He’s not what most people would call “high-functioning.”

Henry has yet to understand the specifics of potty training, talking or riding a bike. He shows little, if any, interest in people. And he is constantly humming, singing, or repeating phrases from videos he watches. This makes social outings an experience replete with stares and whispering.

Being the parent of a significantly autistic son is something I never wanted. It is a challenge I could not have anticipated or prepared for, and it has required that we completely change our ideas about parenting and life.
Small successes

On the worst days, I wonder how we will make it through the next few hours. On the best days, we celebrate the smallest of successes, like when Henry ate yogurt with a spoon, discovered he could open the refrigerator to get his own cup of milk, or when we hear him singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” as he swings in the garage.

The joy I felt as a parent seeing him on a roller coaster for the first time, or swimming in this particular river, was something that we do experience, but those precious moments seem to come much too far apart for our liking.

I know there are other parents out there who feel like their experience with kids is not what they had hoped. There are parents dealing with challenges each day that I could never imagine. I notice them first because they inspire me.

•The mom whose son was having a seizure in his adaptive wheelchair at Fred Meyer. When I asked if I could help, she replied, “Oh no, thanks, this happens all the time,” and she lovingly kissed his head while holding it steady.

•The mom who takes her developmentally disabled adult daughter each week to the Forest Grove pool so that she can enjoy moments of freedom in the water.

•The parents I knew who were struggling to help their daughter with an eating disorder.

•An acquaintance who is raising autistic twins with almost non-existent family support.

Thanks to the Forest Grove School District, which excels at educating students with special needs, friends and family who help out in every way possible, a part-time job at the coffee shop which allows me some time to be silly, and a husband whose nonstop love, support, and humor keep me sane, I have learned to appreciate the small moments of each day.

Moments of joy

I think for so many people in so many of life’s situations, it is the moments of joy that help us through the challenges. It is facing something terrifying, daunting, and tough that does indeed make the great things seem even more so.

That’s why I knew there was only one thing to do as I stood there on the beach watching my son splash with the biggest, most gleeful smile I have ever seen.

I tossed my swimsuit to my husband who stood there with a bemused – but not surprised – smile and I turned to join my son. Hand in hand, we ran off into the river, laughing all the way.

– Kristy Kottkey lives in Forest Grove.

From: http://www.forestgrovenewstimes.com/opinion/story.php?story_id=128392934257824700

Note: All comments, are terrific!

[Bobbert]

Good story! Good attitudes!

[Historybuff83]

I will say that is a beautiful story.  Very touching.

[Lisa2408]

I will say that is a beautiful positive story.  It´s touching very well.